Stories within Stories

or

It Would Be Impossible to Make This Book Into a Movie!

 A review of S. Morgenstern's classic tale of high adventure and romance, The Princess Bride, abridged by William Goldman

I was very excited to pick up this book. It'd been a long time since I'd seen the movie—one that I've watched repeatedly—and I loved the idea of visiting Wesley and Buttercup in written form. I’m one of the many that regard the movie as a time tested classic of young adult fantasy. Yet, I wondered if the book could possibly prove the old complaint—the book is always better— and had high hopes. Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid—another high quality product—was written with an expert hand by William Goldman. So expectations were high as I picked up a copy of the thirtieth anniversary edition. I rolled the book in my hand, astonished by it's unexpected thickness, and began with the forward.

This book didn't have one forward, but several! I imagine in another five years, it might have another, and even a second chapter of Buttercup's Baby, as the thing seems to be growing! Indeed, it was almost a hundred pages before I ever got to Wesley and Buttercup on their small farm in Florin! It was a thoroughly academic—and intimidating—start! How could this be?!

The central story of Wesley and Buttercup is a straightforward adventure where our hero must rescue his love from the grandiose Prince Humperdinck. On top of this is the meta story of William Goldman, nostalgic for the story his grandpa told him one day when he stayed home sick from school. Grown up, Goldman attempts to read the book to his own son, hoping to bond. But the book is terrible! It’s not the rollicking adventure grandpa read! Not at all! It’s absolutely clogged with references of the daily comings and goings of the Florin aristocracy: gossip, politicking, petty court drama! Determined to have his story, Goldman struggles to abridge the original version, written a thousand years ago by the gentleman Florin, S. Morgenstern.

Work isn’t the only complaint of William Goldman. He’s also suffering from personal problems. He has an emotionally unavailable psychologist wife (soon to be his ex), the overly emotional son that only becomes more distant; and a pantheon of lawyers, publishers, editors, actors, and bureaucrats set to bedevil the life of the quasi-famous writer. For Pete's sake, the poor man only wants to abridge an all-but-forgotten classic! Can’t he just do a little work every now and then?!
I expected a straightforward adventure tale with giant rats and a six-fingered swordsman… Sure, frame it as a distraction for a sick boy, and maybe add in a bit of extra splash every now and then—should be two hundred pages tops! It’s not a complicated story! But this ‘abridgement’, turns into a memoir of a self-doubting writer that wants to bond with his distant son over a book—and itself becomes almost five-hundred pages of external drama!

The abridgement is in dire need of an abridgement!

Oh the sweet irony!

As far as the simple story of Buttercup and Wesley are concerned, the movie is the better product. The dialogue is sharper and does not want for any changes in the writing, and for all the clippings that hit the editor's floor. The movie is exactly as advertised, a rich tale of high adventure and romance, with the cute frame of a grandpa reading to a sick boy. The movie is for the boy in all of us—but the book will only interest the winking grandpa that never minded all the kissing in the first place! Although Buttercup and Wesley are also there (and lend great supporting roles) it is first and foremost a clever meta story of William Goldman and the troubles that plague him as he attempts an abridgment (with just a taste of S. Morgenstern's politicking).

Once I was in on the trick, how could I not smile at Goldman’s fine artistry! How perfect that he should complain about S. Morgenstern’s ramblings, when his own “abridgement” becomes more and more jammed with personal drama—ruining it for all modern children! Indeed, Goldman absolutely fails in his effort to abridge the story! And the failure is glorious!

Still, I had to work for it.

At first, the book was vexing, because I just wanted Wesley and Buttercup! But instead, I was getting uninvited personal drama from the writer. What gives? Not knowing much about William Goldman, I read the book with a repeating question in my head: how much of this story is true? Indeed, Goldman claims even Wesley and Buttercup were real people! Looking into it further, I am now satisfied that William Goldman has fictionalized all of it: Florin, Guilder, S. Morgenstern—even his wife and son are nothing more than a fiction! For proof, I have scoured the internet for pictures of the starlet, Sandra Sterling, and I am sad to say that my search has left me empty handed.

Oh William, I wanted to believe!

In the end, this book was not the page burner I expected, but something of a head scratcher. It isn’t just a simple romance, filled with the comic stylings of Fezzik, Inigo, and Miracle Max—framed by the sharp banter of a son and grandfather bonding over a book. Instead, it’s a messy exposé of a confused writer that hopes literature can help shore up his personal relationships. I had expected something simple and quick—but I discovered something dense and rich in its place. As I set the book among my favorites, I cannot help but marvel at the the beautiful paradoxes at the heart of this book. William’s heartwarming attempt to abridge a classic so he might stir the heartstrings of his distant son, becomes an over-bloated self-important autobiography, exactly the problem it attempted to fix! And it does it with such heart! Goldman has created a smart and sassy novel that straddles between terrible failure and glorious satire, and it does it with a wink and a smile!

Thank you, William. Over thirty years later, thank you.