A Prayer of Gratitude

Thank you, god, for this beautiful day!

I know every day is a gift, and sooner or later

Mother Nature is going to murder me—

and I thank you that it has not yet happened!

I ask for your mercy

and beg that you do not let her kill me

in some strange or embarrassing way—

though I know I at times deserve just that.

I know I fuck it up every once in a while,

but I am rather enjoying myself.

So, please help me be the best I can be,

So I don’t have to die—

at least anytime soon.

Amen—or whatever your name is…